Sep. 7th, 2014 02:54 am
aislynn: (Almost Human - coffee addict)
[personal profile] aislynn
I've actually managed to do something that I've struggled with for a long while: still love one of my own vids when it kinda goes over like a lead balloon. ;) Now, granted, I went into this one ("Moondust" Ben/Maggie, Falling Skies, if you're curious but no worries if you're not, this really isn't a plea for views/comments, I promise! ;) ) knowing it had a potential audience of, like, 2 people. ;) I don't know a ton of people who watch Falling Skies and most of them haaaaaate Ben/Maggie. So, this vid has a lot of fail built right into it if what I'm hoping to get from it are dozens of heartfelt declarations of love, lol! ;)

Now, I can admit it: I've been known to not make a vid despite having an idea for it if I know ahead of time it's not very likely to get watched, if it's for an unpopular/largely ignored character, ship or fandom or whatever. *blush* However, I made this vid because I had to, honestly. The song lyrics are SO very Ben, IMO, and I just NEEDED to vid my interpretation of his feelings for Maggie.

Is it my bestest, most technically profound work ever? No. My clips weren't great quality (I actually just picked up the first 3 seasons on DVD for really cheap \o/ and ripped them and got them all ready for prime time vidding annnnnnd immediately wanted to vid s4 which won't be available for ages *epic eye roll* ;) ) and though I did the best I could to make them viewable, it still was far from perfect. And I realized that I was falling into the habit of relying on jump cuts as beat use so I actually went back and revidded everything I'd done up to the point of that realization to reinterpret my editing.

It made me a little nervous that it was going to make things look boring if I didn't compulsively "show" every note in the music O_O ;) but then I realized... I'm making this vid for me. I'm TRULY making this vid for me this time. If I could find a way to edit it that I was happy with, then it doesn't matter what anybody else is going to think, right? I'm not going to angst over editing choices that "someone" might think I should've made differently when I'm going to be lucky to get anybody to even watch this one at all.

I broke several of my usual vidding "rules" with this one. I don't know if it's obvious or not, but I tend to be VERY regimented in how I place sections in my vids. If I'm showing you the Starship Enterprise soaring majestically through space for line 1 of verse 1, I'm not going to show you Gypsy Danger beating up a Kaiju until we reach line 2 of verse 1. I have this sort of compulsive need to keep things tidy in my vids, *blush* I dunno.

I tossed that "rule" with this vid. (Not that there's a crossover of Star Trek and Pacific Rim in the middle of my Falling Skies vid, I should note. But that would be kinda awesome if there was, wouldn't it? :P ;) ) I let scenes "migrate" between one lyric and the next. Location changes might start at the end of one lyric and carry on into the next. It kinda made my Inner Vid Editor CRAY-CRAY for a while but it felt like the right choice all the same. Plus, it made me feel like I sort of shook things up a little, even if it's not in an obvious way. *pats obsessive compulsive self on the back just a bit* ;)

Anyway, I think I got up the gumption to do this vid because I looking through some of my older vids and watched one of my first Ten/Donna vids... "Recessional" is one that my Inner Vid Editor is actually a little ashamed of, I hate to admit. What? Was I completely BLIND to all of the talky face going on? I mean, DUDE. @_@ If there was a talky face Olympics, I'd put money on this one to be in it to win it, lol! ;) And on a purely technical level, it looks like I was veering all over the road, laughing maniacally without a single clue as to all of the things I was doing wrong, lol! ;)


When I watched this 2008 vid again here in 2014, do you know what I got from it most of all, after I stopped being shocked by the lack of technical stuff? It made me feel. It made me hurt for them again. Heck, it made me feel inspired to vid them again, which I definitely wasn't expecting. O_O All of the flaws (and there are more than I'd like to even think about) didn't really matter to me once the flood of feels started washing over me. Do I wish I'd done a better job with the technical stuff? Definitely. But there was a level of emotion in this vid that I think I've regimented OUT a bit with all of the rules I've assigned myself over the year. :S I hope I don't just made soulless vids, of course, but I don't think I'm doing myself any favors by putting rules over emotion. :S

So, "Moondust" isn't perfect. It isn't even in the same building as perfect. But when I watch it back, it makes me FEEL. And I think that means it was at least a little bit of a success, no matter how many people end up watching or commenting on it, right?

I don't get to this sort of headspace a lot (Hi, I'm Really Neurotic About Things I Make Being Liked Or Disliked. *shakes your hand* ;) ) so it feels good to be here and I want to enjoy it while it lasts! ;)

This post is brought to you by the I Hate Being Really Neurotic About Things I Make Being Liked Or Disliked Foundation, motto, "I just want to get back to putting my feels in my work again and not worrying about what other people think quite so much." ;) (I mean, it's not that I'm saying, "I'ma throwing out all vidding sense and going back to giant blocks of talky face, YEAHHHHHH!!!" ;) I just want to at least make sure that I'm not making cold, hard technical aspects the end-all, be-all. I want there to be more room for the emotional aspect in there again. Does that make sense? :S ;) )

Anyway, guess I just needed to talk about this a bit. Thank you so much for reading and you most certainly deserve a plate of freshly baked cookies if you're still with me at this point, lol! ;) Please, help yourself! ;)

*hugs to everybody* ♥♥♥

PS - And if you get the feeling that talky face is something that bugs me in my vids, you'd be right! ;) However, I don't think I've successfully managed to make a vid that didn't have at least SOME talky face in it. Sometimes, it's just unavoidable if you want a certain shot and there's no getting around the fact that somebody's lips are moving while this Awesome Moment is occurring. :S But I try to avoid Giant Talking Head Syndrome and, if there's some pretty blatant talky face in a clip I'm determined to use, I do my best to edit around it and minimize it as much as I can. And you can know that I made the choice to use the scene anyway deliberately and whilst cringing. ;) (Or see "Second To None" :49 - :58 for when I just throw up my hands and embrace talky face like it's a long-lost friend, lol! ;) )

If you're a vidder or vid watcher, how much does talky face bother you? Is there some other technical thing that drives you bonkers or can you forgive pretty much anything if the vid works for you otherwise? Inquiring minds would love to know! ;) ♥♥♥
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