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Entry tags:
Vidding = hurt
I've been having SUCH a good time with this Jack vid I've been working on. It's only been a couple of days since I started it and already I've got nearly 1 minute done, which is the FASTEST I've ever done a "serious" vid (as opposed to something like that Dean "Provenance" vidlette I did in a few hours). I've got most of the story scripted out, I've got the "conditions" set, I've got the "theory" for the effects figured out so they'll (hopefully) stay consistent; I've been really focusing on not getting hung up on any one clip or anything like that.
When it comes to clip choices, I go with whatever amuses me. Simple as that. I've got my choices fairly well set up by the conditions and theories, so I can be as confident as possible that any of the ones I pick from that pool of choices will be basically acceptable. So I'm just basically letting my vidding muse have some fun for once in a long while.
Then I just saw a vid, an INCREDIBLE vid, that trumped mine. (In other words, it was close enough in story that it "got there first.") Mine wasn't the exact same of course, but they're SO similar that mine's going to look like a pale imitation, if I turn it in tomorrow, next week, next year, whenever. I'm just trumped.
I guess it's just the stress of everything else that's going on in my life right now, but I'm actually sitting here crying about this. How dumb is that? It just hurts to have tried so hard and finally got things working only to STILL lose out. I was feeling SO optimistic about things, really feeling like I finally had something back on track again, something I could do for fun to get away from all the bad stuff...and now it's been yanked out from under me.
I could ramble on about this for a while but what's the use? It's like the universe is determined to take away everything I love to do, things I used to be maybe a little good at, but now just don't seem to be "allowed" to do anymore. Writing and vidding, both gone. Yeah, I'm overreacting, I know. But I just had my Locke AU contest vid for the May contest trumped in the same way, then only to turn around and have this one trumped as well. It feels hopeless to even START another vid ever again? Why bother? Somebody will only do it better, faster than me. Why bother at all?
Sorry to have written so many entries before I've even had a chance to answer the comments on the earlier ones. Looks like I'll have plenty of time to answer them now. Sorry also that this was such a bummer entry. Like I said, it just...hurts right now.
When it comes to clip choices, I go with whatever amuses me. Simple as that. I've got my choices fairly well set up by the conditions and theories, so I can be as confident as possible that any of the ones I pick from that pool of choices will be basically acceptable. So I'm just basically letting my vidding muse have some fun for once in a long while.
Then I just saw a vid, an INCREDIBLE vid, that trumped mine. (In other words, it was close enough in story that it "got there first.") Mine wasn't the exact same of course, but they're SO similar that mine's going to look like a pale imitation, if I turn it in tomorrow, next week, next year, whenever. I'm just trumped.
I guess it's just the stress of everything else that's going on in my life right now, but I'm actually sitting here crying about this. How dumb is that? It just hurts to have tried so hard and finally got things working only to STILL lose out. I was feeling SO optimistic about things, really feeling like I finally had something back on track again, something I could do for fun to get away from all the bad stuff...and now it's been yanked out from under me.
I could ramble on about this for a while but what's the use? It's like the universe is determined to take away everything I love to do, things I used to be maybe a little good at, but now just don't seem to be "allowed" to do anymore. Writing and vidding, both gone. Yeah, I'm overreacting, I know. But I just had my Locke AU contest vid for the May contest trumped in the same way, then only to turn around and have this one trumped as well. It feels hopeless to even START another vid ever again? Why bother? Somebody will only do it better, faster than me. Why bother at all?
Sorry to have written so many entries before I've even had a chance to answer the comments on the earlier ones. Looks like I'll have plenty of time to answer them now. Sorry also that this was such a bummer entry. Like I said, it just...hurts right now.